It's a dog SAVE dog world out there.

Sappy video that even pre-Dave Elizabeth would have been choked up by:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HJTG6RRN4E

I'd embed it but YouTube has some sort of newfangled embedding thing going on and I couldn't figure it out and now you have to click the link OH NO.

I love cable television stars.

It's common knowledge that I totally have a thing for Mike Rowe, the host of Dirty Jobs. He's definitely on the outer edge of my acceptable dating age range but HOLY COW if he asked me out on a hot date I'd probably die of heart palpitations before we even got past the appetizer.

I've never met him (even though we live in the same city -- CALL ME, MIKE ROWE!) so it's totally possible that he's not all he's cracked up to be but I just watched this video of a speech he gave and I'm even more smitten than before:

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/mike_rowe_celebrates_dirty_jobs.html

It's 20 minutes long which is well past my internet video watching attention span, but A) it's Mike Rowe and B) he's a great speaker and I was sucked in right off the bat. The point he's making about blue collar workers is awesome and I'm even more of a fan now than I was before. Unfortunately, my track record with celebrities isn't that awesome so I'm sure if I did run into him I'd be a total spaz.

Pre-enactment:

ME: OMG I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE BLUE COLLAR WORKERS TOO WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Mike Rowe: Here's a restraining order, now go get in your Cabriolet* and go to the mall.

ME: CALL ME! LOVEYOUBYE!

* I don't actually drive a Cabriolet, but I recognize that I look like I do.

Backhanded compliment I hear most frequently: "When I first met you I thought you were going to be a bitch but you're SO not and now I really like you!"

Um, thanks.

But back to the matter at hand: Mike Rowe is my celebrity boyfriend in a totally NON-restraining order kind of way, I swear. You should watch the video even though it's 20 minutes long because it's Friday and you're killing time until the weekend anyway.

Thanks to Cat for the link!

Things:

1. I ate a whole TON of beets for dinner and now my tongue is RED:
It's always pointy though.

2. I won the tax refund lottery. THANK THE SWEET BABY JESUS. Now I can get my oil changed, have a couple of pictures framed, get my hair cut, pay for my dry cleaning and then still have enough money left to have my family over for dinner. I'm a high roller, yo.

3. I made the mistake of opening the Pottery Barn catalog that came in the mail today. I would have lived a perfectly happy life not knowing that this duvet cover existed but now that I do, it's going to TORTURE ME to not buy it because it matches my apartment soooo beautifully:

I'm putting it on my birthday list and maybe it'll still be available then. YOU SEE HOW FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE I AM NOW, INTERNET? It's crazy.

3a. Gawd...going to the Pottery Barn site looking for that picture was also a BAD idea because now I see 85 million other duvet covers that I NEED. My mom buys a new duvet cover every couple of weeks so I can't help being drawn to them...it's in my blood.

3b. My friend Christa couldn't figure out why I got two duvet covers for Christmas because who in the heck needs more than one?? Except that don't forget, my mother is English and they change duvet covers every time they change they change their sheets so that's the way I've always done it too.

4. Another nugget of proof of my financial responsibility: I came home from work and didn't really have much to eat and I was feeling flush at the news of my tax refund lottery winnings so I decided to treat myself and be lazy and order Chinese food. I got my credit card out and I sat down at the WWW to view the menu and decided that YOU KNOW WHAT, SELF? You're not DYING for Chinese food so why feel gross and greasy and spend money you don't actually have yet when you *could* eat a Lean Cuisine and roast those beets you bought the other day. So I did. I ate the Weight Watcher friendly and FREE meal.

I WIN!

5. The blind guy on American Idol makes me nervous with his awkward close leaning into Ryan like they're gonna kiss or something. And the scared look on his face too -- his brother needs to teach him not to look SO! ALERT! And he needs a haircut, but that's not his fault.

I do not love bacon in ALL forms.

I said I didn't want this blog to be about bacon because I think the whole OMG BACON ON EVERYTHING INCLUDING BAND-AIDS AND SHOES AND DENTAL FLOSS AND BOOZE thing kinda jumped the shark and I never intended for the whole "Elizabeth Loves Bacon" thing to be a THEME...just a statement of fact.

So anyway, no bacon lamp shades or wallets or whatever for me, but I DO have two bacon-related items to report:

1. I do not like bacon doughnuts. Carrie and I went to Dynamo Donuts in search of a spiced chocolate (or chocolate spice?) doughnut so I could cross #54 off my list but they didn't have any. FAIL. But they did have the bacon doughnuts so I tried one of those.

I've had bacon pancakes before and they were awesome so I figured that a bacon doughnut with maple frosting would be even better because seriously, fry ANYTHING and it's better.

But no. Not these babies:



It was just very blah. SO blah, in fact, that I put the rest of the doughnut back into the bag and suggested that we go to REAL brunch instead. So we did.

2. I will be making bacon caramel corn sometime soon. I hate cooking bacon at home because I can't stand the smell that lingers, but I think this popcorn might be worth it. Full report later.

3 down, 97 to go.

Okay so I'm OBSESSED with making progress on the list of 100 things to try in SF before you die.

I'm up to three so far:

#92. The bacon-wrapped hot dog, which I already blahblahblah'd about.

#60. The Brass Monkey (sausage, feta and spinach pizza) at Little Star Pizza, which was super tasty but was also part of a lovely night out with Tony and John. We decided that we were gonna race to the finish with this list and so far, I think I'm in second place which is shameful because I believe I've lived in SF longer than John has.

#44. A cannele from one of the Bay Bread locations. It was something I'd NEVER have tried otherwise (a cake without frosting holds ZERO appeal) but it was so good that I've since been back for a SECOND one and I keep thinking that I'll have to pick one up for my mom one of these days because I think she'd like it.

And after this weekend I'll have a few more notches on my belt:

#88. Buckwheat crepe and a French cider at Ti Couz. I've eaten here before but I don't believe I've ever had a buckwheat crepe or a French cider so guess what I'm having for dinner tonight when I meet up with my old pal Santa Amy Lou? They also have French onion soup and I've never tried theirs, but A) I LOVE French onion soup and B) doesn't French onion soup sound fantastic on a cold, rainy night??

#76. Chicken hash at Ella's. I brunched at Ella's back before I even moved to SF but chicken hash is another one of those things I'd never consider ordering. I'm gonna order it anyway because I love crossing things off lists and I can't help myself. Plus, Sarah and Laurina are coming into the city to see me tomorrow and Ella's is a popular brunch spot so why not cross something off my list at the same time?

#54. Spiced-chocolate doughnut at Dynamo Donut with a Four Barrel coffee. My TV currently requires the viewer to turn it on and off somewhere between 11 and 15 times before it will stay on (it used to be only 2-3 times...it's getting worse) and Carrie has a spare TV that she's trying to unload because she doesn't want to deal with the digital TV conversion thing and she's kind enough to hand it down to ME (because if you've priced TVs these days you know the days of the $300 TV are GONE GONE GONE). Sooooo, we're gonna swap out the TVs on Sunday and then haul mine down to the electronics recycling center and somewhere in there we're gonna go get us some doughnuts and coffee!

Fun fact: This place also offers BACON doughnuts. And lemon-thyme doughnuts. It's gonna be a doughnut bonanza.

Fine Dining at My Desk

1. I am eating an expired off-brand frozen diet dinner that I took out of my parents' freezer. It is not delicious.

2. The two things that I believe burp up the WORST of all other foods on the planet:

* dijon mustard

* raw broccoli

Luckily, I've only eaten one of these items today.

3D Technology

This post in one of the blogs I read is about the different 3D glasses necessary for different applications and I was reminded of a similar conversation my family had during the Superbowl -- half of us with our superbowl-related 3D glasses on while the other half waited for their turn (another reason Tivo is awesome). My dad commented that someone should sell non-throw-away 3D glasses because, I guess, you never know when a 3D viewing opportunity will arise.

Well Dad, we are clearly 3D novices because my suggestion that you go out and make your millions on non-throw-away 3D glasses was a bad one -- I had no idea there was more than one color combo for 3D glasses...but now, thanks to the magic of the internet, I know we'll never be millionaires.

Because of our non-throw-away 3D glasses business, anyway.

But anyway, this gives me reason enough to tell another 3D glasses realted story from the Superbowl:

Toward the end of the second quarter my brother Andrew jumped up and ran out to his car and returned with a page of punch-out 3D glasses and frantically started trying to separate them in time for the half-time 3D commerical bonanza. He sucked at this, by the way, but I think it's because he didn't grow up punching paper dolls and alllllllll of their clothing (with alllllllllllllllllllllllllll those little holder-onner-tabs on them) out of paper doll books. His Star Wars toys came pre-clothed, and all.

(But OMG I had this one paper doll who had a magnet in her torso and the clothes just stuck to her and I LOVED her even though her fringed denim catsuits and long, floral, hippie dresses weren't as stylish as my Barbie paper doll clothes. Even her hair was out of date -- Barbie had her BIG! GIANT! BLONDE! HAIR! and this doll's hair was long and brown and straight and parted down the middle...but maaaan, that's one thing from my childhood that I wish I'd kept.)

So after 75 hours, he handed the first pair of glasses over to my mom who commented that the left side said LEFT and the right side said RIGHT and I was like "Uhhh...I'd think the ear straps would be the main indicators that I had them on right, DUH."

OR SO YOU'D THINK, anyway.

Because once the 3D commercial came on my mom said that it didn't look very 3D to her and it took her several seconds to realize HER GLASSES WERE ON BACKWARDS.

And then when we handed off the glasses and rewound the commercials for others to see and my brother did the same damn thing.

I'm sure it's just that the ear straps got folded the wrong way, but it cracks me up to think of my mom wearing 3D glasses in the first place, so my mom wearing backwards 3D glasses is AWESOME.