Friday, June 5, 2009

I want to tap my fingers on Laurina's belly and be all "OPEN OPEN OPEN!"

Not to be too kumbaya and "the miracle of life is a beautiful thing" on you all or anything, but I'm going to be an aunt ANY DAY NOW and in the last week or so I've started to get kinda gooby about the whole thing.

I've NEVER thought that pregnancy sounded like a good idea. It seems barbaric that we would grow new humans INSIDE OTHER HUMANS and then brutally shove them out, ripping and stretching everything along the way. I mean, that's how ANIMALS do it. How CAVEMEN did it. I, in the 21st century, should be able to order a baby from a laboratory or something and have it delivered and all these women who choose to actually get PREGNANT in order to have a baby must be hippies who revel in the beauty of nature.


I'm not saying I don't think babies are exciting because they TOTALLY are and I love holding them and pinching their cheeks and kissing their fat arms but the whole process involved with getting them here is undesirable. Maybe if I cared about having my own kids I'd feel differently but I absolutely do not get why someone would want to do that.

But then I heard that Laurina has started to dialate and for a moment I got all "OMG her body is staring to prepare for the birth of my brother's child and OMG THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL." And I'll admit that I got a little teary. DAMN THAT BABY for turning me into a wuss.

This wasn't the original point of this post (It was going to be "It's a trip that in a few days this person will show up and be the center of my whole family's universe and we'll love him/her more than anything but right now? Today? This person doesn't even exist yet. That's weird.") but I've lost my will to keep going because all I can think about is how Joanie will be here in an hour to pick me up for lunch and how eating a 5AM breakfast was stupid because now I'm STARVING.

But I will say this: I've lived nearly 33 years without being an aunt and I'm pretty sure that one day I'll look back and think that I can't imagine life without Baby and that's pretty hard to wrap my head around. And one day, when I'm 67, I'll have lived longer WITH Baby than without Baby and my life without Baby will seem like it was so long ago.

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