Thunder Thighs

A few years ago I had a less-than-awesome experience at one of those laser hair removal places that involved:

1. Being told my thighs were so big that they'd need to reschedule me for more time because of how big my big, fat thighs were and PS, your thighs are huge with a side of giant.

2. Me saying UM WHATEVER GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK.

3. Them ignoring me.

4. Me calling the freaking ABC TV station and getting their consumer guy involved.

5. Them ignoring him.

6. Him getting his feathers ALL kinds of ruffled.

7. Them finally, after several months, giving me my money back and then telling me I was no longer welcome at their facility.

8. Me writing a bad Yelp review.

And for whatever reason, when a new company (BriteSmile) bought the old company (Pure MedSpa), all the old company's Yelp reviews followed the new company so the new company is understandably motivated to get those old reviews fixed up. Soooo, guess who got an e-mail from the new company asking me to contact them so they could rectify the situation and maybe I'd be so satisfied I'd be willing to rewrite and/or delete my old review?

ME!

I called the lady back today but she wasn't there so I'm interested to see what they're gonna offer me and it had better be something more exciting than a bottle of moisturizer or whatever.