Midwestern Adventure: Iowa

Ohhhhh, Iowa.

So pretty.

So friendly.

So small town adorable.


Sarah's dad's farm is like the Bermuda Triangle though. I had to drive myself out there like three or four times and I swear to you, I got lost coming and going EVERY DAMN TIME and now her dad and brother probably think I should wear a helmet or something. But really, it's Google's fault. I could provide all you stalkers with Google directions to their house and you'd NEVER find it. And really, you'd probably never find your way back to your own house either because you wouldn't ever be able to get cell reception so you could call someone for directions.

But yeah...the farm is freaking gorgeous. If my whole family moved there, I would follow.

When I got there the night of the favor-making the guys were making a fire pit in preparation for the rehearsal dinner but unfortunately, it ended up pouring with rain and we had to hide in the garage and THE BARN. (And Shannon is totally going to read this and think that I'm a city girl for thinking that a party in a barn is exciting!)

But you know what happens when it rains in the midwest?

LIGHTENING!

LOTS OF IT!

And if you didn't know anyone there, you'd have been able to pick out the Californians from the Iowans because we were all "OMG LIGHTENING! LOOK! OMG ANOTHER ONE! OMG!"

Except you know what else happens when it rains in the midwest?

I MELT.

Make-up, schmake-up.

It was crazy humid and I couldn't hide over the A/C vent in the bathroom all night long, so I had to suck it up and be okay with the fact that I was going to look sweaty and rained-on in all the pictures. But really, the fact that my boobs were about ready to fall out of my dress all night long gave me something more pressing to worry about and in the end, the wet hair/"dewy" face look translated into really cute pictures:



And even though it was starting to get dark, it was PHOTO SHOOT TIME!

CORN!



Where's Waldo?



A TRACTOR!



Big Andrew and his girlfriend Tammy are also tractor fans:



My time in Iowa also involved a powerball lottery ticket purchase. And a sobbing fit in the Sunday school room at the church. And in the church lobby. And in the church bathroom. And in the church pews. And, while I was at it, on the altar during the wedding.

What's prettier than a sobbing bridesmaid? A sobbing bridesmaid with holiday hams.

But I digress.

Iowa was wonderful. And I really, actually, truly mean that.